Do you Fight, Flight, Freeze or Please when things get tough?
Some people read books because they think they need to change something. While in fact, they don’t need to change. They need to find out who they are and build upon that.
Self-assessing helps you to create a better understanding of your past failures. It helps us build a foundation for personal growth. But where do you start?
One step to figuring yourself out is to find out if you fight, flight, freeze or please.
Fight, Flight, Freeze or Please
These four reactions come from our basic instincts. When rational thinking is being shut off and we need to protect ourselves. It’s when the body takes over to survive. It’s also adaptable to experiences that are not life-threatening. For example, the struggle with a given task.
We don’t mind showing emotions like joy and anger. But we love to cover up shame. We don’t want anyone to see us struggling.
This goes back to your childhood. Take a second to think about your classmates in elementary school.
- Who was the kid who always got into trouble? (Fight)
- Who went to the bathroom many times a day? (Flight)
- Who was staring out of the window all day long? (Freeze)
- Who was always so kind and friendly but never performed well? (Please)
The probability is that they were all checking out from reality.
They were not motivated enough, or bored. So they became little rebels. Or they didn’t know how to start a given assignment. So they went to sharpen their pencils 20 times a day. They froze and tuned out of the real world. Or they became extra friendly, made jokes and got everyone to like them.
Do you recognize yourself in one of these 4 reactions? If so, you’re one step closer to a fitting solution.
Your Most Valuable Skill
If you know how you react to complicated tasks, it’s easier to understand what is happening. Instead of running away from a task, you now know that failure is around the corner. Don’t cover up your insecurity with jokes or by tuning out. Get a hold of yourself and ask for help.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. We all got our weaknesses and strengths. Instead of trying to learn the things that don’t come natural, build upon your strengths. Identifying your strengths and weaknesses will become your most valuable skill.